Where have I been?

I can't believe my last post was from June 19! What have I been doing?

I dropped the ball on the photo-a-day thing and haven't been blogging because basically, my husband is out of school for the summer and we have been having a lot of fun outside.

I've also been introduced to Listen Up Vermont where I can check out ebooks on my Nook - I am addicted! In the last two weeks I've read Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom, The Peach Keeper, and now Emily, Alone. Maine is on deck too! I forgot how much pleasure I get from reading a good book.

I also spent hours reading magazines that have been piling up. I feel terrible if I recycle one without reading it, so this weekend while the Hubs was at deer camp for a work day I read them all. (If I could only convince myself not to also hang on to many of my magazines my house would be a cleaner more organized space! Damn you Atlantic, Vermont Life, Cook's Illustrated and Yankee!

Our garden looks spectacular and will, I hope, stay in good shape while we are in Florida. The deer have let it mostly alone this summer but we've been invaded with flea beetles, then cucumber beetles and potato beetles. We've already been able to eat the lettuce, and some basil and cilantro.

I've been making mental packing lists for weeks now for Florida and need to actually write it down. Flying with Sweet Pea's meds and bottles actually seems pretty easy. I will not be using cloth diapers that week to save my sanity and space in our luggage!

Speaking of Sweet Pea, her first birthday is a little over a month away and I've been working on it too! I can't believe she will be one already! The anniversary of my pre-term labor and bedrest is July 7... that also seems soooo very long ago.

Happy early 4th of July! I hope you all spend some time reading the Declaration of Independence tomorrow!

Cheesy self-portrait during our walk/hike to the abandoned West Wheelock Cemetery

June 1: Morning

This month, I am participating in a Photo-a-Day Challenge with my virtual mom's group (LOVE THEM!). I am so excited to improve my photography skills... although I took classes in college, it was a LONG time ago and we used old school cameras (and I can't remember anything). Anyway, I'll post my photo with them but also on here each day.

Today's theme was "Morning." Sweet Pea got up a little early today - just in time to see Daddy off to work. I can't wait until school is out so we have many more days like this:

NEK Moms: Blood Draws for Babies

Today at NEK Moms I've written about tips for making a blood draw easier on you and your baby. For example, did you know babies need to be well-hydrated to make it easier to find a vein and get the blood flowing? Learn more at NEK Moms!

Lessons from the NICU: Patience

At one point during our NICU stay it seemed that every baby around us was a full-term baby, and they were all there for minor (at least to me) issues like jaundice. They'd stay a day or two and then would head home completely healthy.

Because I could hear everything from the "cubicles" surrounding my baby I knew what was happening with all of these neighbor babies and could easily hear the complaints from their mothers. Many of these moms were upset that they could not immediately take their baby home, even though they were only expected to stay for a day or two. At this point I'd already been in the NICU with Sweet Pea for over a month and it seemed like we were making no progress toward getting her home.

Often I could not nurse Sweet Pea because she was on bowel rest - the result of not knowing what the hell was wrong with her digestive system. (Eventually Boston Children's did discover that she had a stricture - scar tissue - blocking her sigmoid colon. But at this point she would stop eating and pooping every 5 days and we had no idea why.) She had just gotten over an infection and was starting to eat again, although she was having trouble remembering how to nurse so I was at her side all through the day so that I could practice at every opportunity.

One day, I got to the NICU early enough to snag one of the "nice chairs" so that I could be comfortable nursing and kangarooing with Sweet Pea throughout the day. Just after noon however, one of the nurses came over and told me she needed my chair for a "nursing mother."

Let me tell you how badly I lost it. I gave Mean Nurse the chair (because I knew they were coveted and I did have it all morning) but then immediately burst into tears. Our nurse overheard and went searching for something for me to sit in, finding what was essentially an office chair. Great. I'd really be able to nurse now. I just knew that my chair had gone to one of the mothers with a term baby and that they were going home while I'd be stuck forever in the hospital.

Poor me.

That night I asked if we could go home. Not home, home. But I wanted to be transferred to our home hospital - which has no NICU. I just could not stand to feel stuck any longer, and my heart couldn't take watching any more babies go home while we sat and waited. To my surprise, the docs thought it would be okay. They thought Caroline's main issue was just to re-learn how to nurse and then she'd be fine.

This is how your transport a baby in an ambulance!

Within a couple of days we were at our home hospital. I thought it would be great.

It wasn't.

I'll skip the details but it turned out that 5 days after she had started eating again she was sick. My husband had planned a BBQ at our house to thank all the people who had been helping us out (I did not think this was a good idea - too soon to celebrate in my mind), and while we were at our house our daughter began fighting for her life. The infection that ensued was so nasty that it caused her to stop breathing. To this day I am extremely grateful to the nurse who noticed what was happening and who called for help.

We had some warning that things weren't going well. The whole time we were at our home hospital Sweet Pea looked terrible. She was having terrible gas and diarrhea. She refused to eat and would throw up anything that we forced into her through the NG tube - including her meds. There was faulty medical equipment at the hospital and so the nurses weren't sure at first whether she was really having problems or if it was just the equipment acting up.

The night of the BBQ Sweet Pea had to be intubated so that she could breath and Dartmouth was called to come pick her up. This was not a problem a level 3 hospital could manage.

After a very long night of no sleep (now our second most terrible night ever), we made it to Dartmouth and Sweet Pea was started on antibiotics and tests were being run to determine the problem. However, I learned my lesson: this was not something that I could rush. It didn't matter that I wanted her at home, she was not ready. It didn't matter that I was upset about the term-babies who were going home all around us, Sweet Pea was not ready. I needed to be patient with this process and I hadn't been. Now it felt like we were starting over.

No one with a baby in the NICU wants to be told to be patient, especially when those around you are going home while you continue to wait. But patience and time really are the most powerful warriors.

Life is pretty good now!

Read my first post about things I learned in the NICU here.

Steam mop envy

A while back a friend posted on Facebook that she had just used a steam mop for the first time and was amazed at how clean her floors were afterward. I've been jealous ever since.

We installed new hardwood floors in our living room and bedroom last year (to match the ones already in the kitchen and dining room) and they looked beautiful until Sweet Pea's reflux got bad... then it got ugly in here.

Floors that had been relatively easy to maintain now look like they've been smeared with Elmer's glue. Yuck.

So guess what I requested for my first Mother's day:

Yep. A Steam Mop. And I believed it arrived yesterday from Amazon! Can you tell how excited I am?

I've always been practical about gifts and while I would love to spend my first Mother's day being pampered at a spa, this year having clean floors is going to be even more enjoyable. (And no need to use chemicals!)

So what about you?Any odd requests this Mother's day? Anyone requesting "Fifty Shades of Grey"?  

Lessons from the NICU: Strength

Sweet Pea's first 90 days of life were spent in the NICU at Dartmouth and Boston Children's Hospital. Tomorrow she'll be nine months old and we will celebrate having been home for twice as long as we were in the hospital. Although it's been six months since we left the hospital, it often feels like it was just last week.

I often think about the things that I learned (about myself and about life in general) from spending so much time in the hospital with her. Over the next few Friday's I'll share some of the insights I had from that time.

Glacier National Park - a pic from our honeymoon

I never thought of myself as a particularly strong person. I've survived my share of crap in life, but I've done it with a lot of worrying and crying and lost sleep. However, I became strong - or perhaps just aware that I am strong -while we were in the NICU.

When Sweet Pea was born at 32 weeks gestation I thought we were doing pretty well. The docs were able to stop labor at 28 weeks and I successfully baked her another month (while on bed rest). When she was born on August 5 after 18 hours of scary labor (more on that another time) she was a good size for her age, she had 9s for her Apgar scores, and she came out screaming. I even got to hold her after they got her cleaned up!

Later that night I got to breastfeed her and she seemed to be doing great. Although sleep was interrupted all through that first night because I had to pump, I felt good knowing that Sweet Pea was healthy and had hoped we'd be part of that lucky few who get to take their babies home from the NICU before her due date.

Day 3

The next day we were told that she was slightly jaundice and needed to be kept under the lights. We understood that this was nothing out of the ordinary and actually thought her "sunglasses" were cute; she looked happy under the warm lights in her little incubator. My husband and I got to kangaroo with her off and on over the next few days - although not for very long because we wanted her to get as much photo-therapy as possible so we could take her home. I continued to pump away and would offer her the breast on occasion. On day 5 things started to look bad - this is what I wrote on my personal blog:

We spent the day with Caroline but she wasn't doing so hot. I tried to nurse her but she wasn't at all interested, instead she just fell back to sleep. They continued to feed her my milk but she stopped digesting it and thought perhaps she had a slowed digestive system from the jaundice. We left around 5:30PM and I just had a bad feeling. She was so out of it all day but I am hopeful tomorrow will be better.

Day 5 - under the lights, but we'd been moved out of the critical side of the NICU

Around 9PM that night the NICU called to say that after we left Sweet Pea started to have a lot of As & Bs (apnea and bradys). She had also started throwing up and she was very lethargic. (To this day I don't understand why they didn't call sooner.) We rushed to the hospital:

The doctor's suspected an infection of some sort so they started antibiotics. They took blood and urine for a culture, took x-rays, and did a spinal tap to check for meningitis.  ...She was continuing to stop breathing and her heart kept slowing down, in addition her blood sugar levels were sky high. As we were standing there my nightmare came true. My poor baby would not breathe and turned an awful shade of purple and we were told to leave her area. They tried a C-PAP to get her some air but it didn't help, so they had to intubate her.

The "nightmare" I spoke of was literally a nightmare I had had the night before. I dreamed that Caroline had died in front of me.

Day 6

This was one of the longest nights of my life. Throughout it all I kept telling myself that if I could survive this, I could survive anything - and that mantra came in handy as we experienced similar trauma two more times over the course of Sweet Pea's hospital stay.

Within a week of this event Sweet Pea would be diagnosed with NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis - which, as it turns out, she didn't actually have; instead she would later be diagnosed with a stricture in her sigmoid colon and would require surgery to remove it) and central diabetes insipidus. She would have her first surgery to place a subclavian IV line, her first ultrasound, and her first MRI. We would also experience the DDAVP drug shortage for the first time - we had to wait a day for a diagnostic test because the hospital couldn't get it in.

Things would get worse before they got better, but today we are home with our precious baby girl and she is going great!

She's a reader, just like her Mama!

Suffering for Beauty (Or, Am I Blonde Enough?)

Throughout history women have suffered for beauty. Chinese women practiced foot binding hoping for better marriage prospects through tiny feet. Neck stretching, lip plates, and waist-cinching are all methods used (or previously used) to achieve beauty. In American culture women pluck, wax, dye, paint, tan and surgically enhance their bodies to live up to the pop-culture view of what's beautiful. Often the results of these procedures are anything but beautiful (a common example from middle-school girls is the botched dye job, or in 20-somethings, botched breast implants). I've participated in my share of beautifying, although I like to think less so than typical American women. However, I decided recently to attack my hair with hopes of being a blonde again.

I was born blonde. Well, more of a reddish-blonde; it was definitely not brown. Growing up in Florida and playing outside kept me blonde as a kid. Hours spent at the beach or on the tennis court resulted in a pale, strawberry blonde that I really liked. Even now, when I am in the sun my hair lightens quite a bit. This has allowed me to avoid having to pay for professional highlights or color over the years (and not exactly in a teacher's budget!).

A few times I did pay for highlights. These were mostly in college when I thought student loans were supposed to be spent on things like that. (Oh the lessons we learn the hard way...) When I moved to Atlanta and decided to chop off my hair and donate it to Locks of Love, I got highlights for free. Once the sun-bleached hair was pony-tailed and cut, all that was left was what my Mom would call "mousy brown" looking hair. The hairstylist suggested highlights and instead of comping the haircut, offered to comp the color. Yes! After that I again maintained my hair by spending time on the lake or on the tennis court. Ah, the benefits of free sunshine (and sometimes a little lemon juice)!

 This past July - one of my favorite months for free sunshine - I was 28 weeks pregnant and put on bedrest. After a month of laying around in my bedroom my Sweet Pea decided she wanted to come eight weeks early, with health problems. Besides completely altering everything meaningful in my life, this also meant (get ready for a completely superficial complaint) 90 days spent indoors with practically no sun. Dang. There goes my hair.

I wouldn't have really noticed my hair color but for my dear husband who reminded me - what seemed like weekly - about my new brown hair, which he claimed was lovely. With every remark I cringed. How could I possibly have brown hair? Even my child has white-blonde fuzz on her head, I couldn't have birthed such a thing unless I too was blonde! Now there isn't anything wrong with real brown hair. But that's not what we are talking about. Mine had turned into - gasp! - mousy brown. How could this be? I told myself I didn't care and that this was the least of my worries. But upon returning home from the hospital and realizing that I no longer had a job to go to where I must look decent, I decided to take a chance and color my hair. If it looked bad at least no one but the husband and the babe's doctors would see it.

But why do I care so much about being blonde? First of all, I want to keep the color I grew up with. I always liked being blonde, whether it was because I had heard several thousand times that "blondes have more fun" or more likely,  because my natural color has been complemented by numerous hairdressers. Once, I was even selected to be a model for Aveda in a hair show in Orlando because of the color of my hair. All I had to do was walk around wearing a deep-conditioner treatment for 3-days and I scored a nice check and tons of free product. Also, I associate my hair getting darker with aging - and seriously - who wants to get old?

8th Grade: Notice how the blonde hair just stands out in the crowd? ;)

After reading up on how to select the right color from a do-it-yourself hair coloring kit, I went to the drug store. I debated briefly the pros and cons of using the "dark golden blonde" (was my hair so brown that dark blonde would be enough to lighten it?), "medium golden blonde" (perhaps this was the right shade?), or "light golden blonde." Light golden blonde seemed like it would do the trick. Just enough blonde without being super noticeable. I waited for the husband to go to work the next day before attempting my experiment, mostly because I wondered if he would even notice the new color. After getting the babe to sleep, I began by reading the instructions of the kit, but was rudely interrupted by the phone ringing. I ran to answer it and was surprised to hear that it was the dermatologist I had seen just the week before. The backstory:

Last week Sweet Pea had a couple of follow-up appointments so I figured that while we were at the hospital I might as well get some really ugly stuff (seborrheic keratosis) that had grown during pregnancy frozen off my skin. Although I've had lots of suspicious moles removed in the past, I had been cleared a couple years back to stop my twice-yearly mole-check appointments and just to show up when I thought something looked weird. I was not at this appointment because of a weird mole; I was there to improve how my skin looked. During the visit the doc found a scary looking mole on my back and sliced it off, and I thought Great! So glad to get that removed while I'm here. Moving on...

The dermatologist told me that unfortunately the mole they removed was no good. In fact, it showed signs of severe atypia - meaning that it's the kind of precancerous mole most likely to turn into melanoma if not removed. She told me to schedule surgery and they would make sure to get rid of the rest of it, thus preventing any type of cancer. Wonderful news. And completely ironic too.  Here I am about to color my hair so that it again looks "sun bleached"  while receiving news that all that time spent in the sun has caused potentially life-threatening damage. Now I'll spend the rest of my life indoors or covered up, not to mention that I'll have to keep coloring my hair until eternity!

And the results of that light golden blonde hair dye? Well, what do you think?

Before (left) and after (right). Absolutely no difference!

*And the husband didn't notice either!

Pinterest Popular

I am the type of person who loves to find something new and then share it with others. I'm sure this is one reason why I love teaching so much and part of the reason why I majored in advertising. If I find a book that I love - I share it. A new makeup product - shared. Recipe - yep, those too. I've found Pinterest to be the perfect place to collect and share my new finds. (Before Pinterest I tore pages out of magazines and kept a little book full of things I love.)

When I was pregnant and dreaming up ideas for the baby's room I perused hundreds of websites and blogs for inspiration. I created several "idea boards" and shared my favorite one on my BabyCenter Birth Board. One of my fellow September Mama's responded and introduced me to Pinterest. I had never heard of it but after checking it out I was hooked. I requested my invite and 2 weeks later I was in - that was 51 weeks ago!

My original idea board for Sweet Pea's room

Some people like just searching through what other people have pinned and repinning the things they love to their own boards. I often do this with recipes figuring that if someone I know made it and liked it, I might like it too. However, my favorite use for Pinterest is to find new things to pin from various sources - just like I used to do with magazines. And I get ridiculously excited when I pin something new to a board and then see people repinning it - to me it feels very similar to winning a student government position in high school (I know, this is so ridiculous!). Anyway, I found a couple of neat things over the weekend that other people seem to like too. What do you think?

Source: umbra.com via Aimee on Pinterest

Source: blogs.babycenter.com via Aimee on Pinterest

Source: happysimpleliving.com via Aimee on Pinterest

Must Haves For Baby: Adding to Your Baby Gear

Sweet Pea loves her Rock-n-Play

Yesterday I wrote about the six basics every mom needs when coming home from the hospital with a new baby - that's right - just six items. Today I'm explaining other items that you might eventually find useful - even if you do not have a dedicated nursery. Again, you don't need all of these things right away, nor do they need to be brand new. Beg, borrow and hit the garage sales and you can get almost everything pretty inexpensively.

Adding to Your Baby Gear
Many of these things will make your job as Mommy easier!

• Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper - This may be one of the greatest inventions for parents. My sister recommended it to us after having she had difficulty getting her newborn son to sleep. The Rock-n-Play is portable (we moved it around the house as needed throughout the day), it breaks down easily if you want to pack it in the car (we used it in hotels), it's easy to clean when baby makes a mess, and last, many moms (including myself) swear that it's the only place baby would initially sleep. And sleep is important for EVERYONE! Now that Sweet Pea is older we keep the RNP in the kitchen as a place for her to play while we cook.
• A cradle/swing - We love the My Little Lamb Cradle and Swing. Although there is nothing sweeter than snuggling with your new baby, at some point you have to eat and this is a great place to put her while you do that.
• Sling/Moby Wrap/Ergo - Whatever your choose, a carrier is another great way to get things done around the house while keeping your baby close. I went through four carriers before Sweet Pea finally grew into my favorite, the Ergo Carrier . 
• Sleep Sheep - a little white noise can really help a newborn sleep; as baby grows the Sleep Sheep also does a great job of drowning out household noises as well. There are all kinds of white-noise machines out there, you can even download white-noise to your iPod to play for your little one.
• Wabbanub pacifier - I was totally against my baby using a pacifier because I thought it would harm breastfeeding. I changed my mind after another NICU nurse told me that a pacifier would help my daughter sooth herself, and besides getting a little sugar water with her heel sticks, this was the only real pain relief that she had. An extreme example but seriously, if your baby likes a pacifier the Wabbanub is the way to go. It looks ridiculous to see a toy hanging from a baby's face but my daughter was able to stick it back in her mouth all by herself!
• Boppy pillow - These are great to have for: breastfeeding, bottle feeding, playtime, tummy time, learning to sit. So many uses for a relatively inexpensive item. (I also lay on it while watching Mad Men - my guilty pleasure while Sweet Pea naps!)
• Pack-n-Play - Once baby grows out of sleeping in the RNP, she can move into the PNP if the crib isn't ready. If you don't travel or if all of your friends have kids you can probably get away without this.
• Infant bathtub - Sweet Pea hated baths for the first few months after we came home from the hospital. We'd struggle to get through her once-a-week dip. At first you can get away with washing your baby in the sink or in one of those pink-buckets your probably got at the hospital. Once they are bigger having an infant tub is nice. We used the Infant To Toddler Tub with Sling. 
• Stroller - A big ticket item, it is best to really think about how you are going to use the stroller. Will you be walking daily, weekly? Where will you be using it? Indoors? Outside? Dirt roads? Once you have figured out your primary use go to a store and give several a test run to make sure it fits you and your lifestyle. (Here we went with the BOB Revolution SE Single Stroller for several reasons: we live and primarily use the stroller on dirt roads, my husband is a runner - and sometimes I pretend to be, it's easy to use and folds down to fit in my trunk, and it looks pretty cool.) 
• Playmat/gym, bouncy seat, Bebe Pod, jumperoo, etc. - These are all nice to have as baby gets older. You don't need any of these right away and you also do not need them to be brand new. Borrow from friends or look on Craigslist or at garage sales for good deals.
• Diaper bag - These come in all shapes and sizes and colors. I have a dear friend who refused to spend a ton of money on just one and instead bought several different large purses that she rotates through. Many women also splurge on diaper bags since they carry it with them everywhere, often in lieu of a purse. I ended up getting one that my husband isn't embarrassed to carry around.
• Baby clothes - Besides the few essential onsies that you will need right away,  you do not need to spend tons of money on baby clothes. At this point I've bought less than $50 worth of new outfits for the Sweet Pea! People will buy you tons of clothing if you have a baby shower even if you don't register for any. Also, hand-me-downs rock. We've received bags and bags and bags of clothes from family and friends. Save your money for when your kid starts middle school and really becomes conscious of what they are wearing.
• Toys - This was the area where I needed the most help. My sister noticed that I hadn't put any toys on my registry! Initially, Sweet Pea only had a few things while still in the NICU: a mirror (which she loved!), this Freddie the Firefly Toy  that hung above her bed like a mobile, a Waterfall Soother, and a doll from my Mother. We also had a ton of books from friends and family. Once home, her toy collection grew to include all kinds of exciting things like: paper, a paper towel roll, and balls. You can find an excellent list of developmentally appropriate toys at the BabyEarth website. BabyCenter also has a page full of games and activities for your baby. If you sign up for their emails two different activities will be sent to you each week.

 On deck for tomorrow and Friday: Building a Nursery and Feeding/Nursing/Pumping Essentials. Also coming up, my list of totally useless baby things!

Did your baby have a favorite toy or other item that I forgot? Is there something you recommend to all new mothers? Leave a comment and let us know!

Fairwell Dear Breastpump

We had to buy a freezer to hold all of the milk!

 I have a love/hate relationship with my breastpump that is sadly coming to an end in the next few days. As a firm believer that if you can breastfeed you should breastfeed, I spent my pregnancy imagining the closeness and bonding that would take place between my daughter and I as we snuggled in for midnight feedings. Alas, this was not to be in my case due to Sweet Pea's health conditions.

The night my daughter was born and for several days thereafter I did put her to breast and she fed like a champion newborn. Because she would be spending some time in the NICU (she was born two months early) - and because I got excellent advice from a friend who happens to be a lactation consultant before giving birth - I knew to start pumping immediately and not to stop until my supply was built. I never would have thought that eight months later I'd still be pumping.

The Medela Symphony was there for me like a good friend through the ups and downs of having a sick baby. Sweet Pea was first at Dartmouth-Hitchcock where there was HUGE support for breastfeeding (almost to the point of being annoying, actually) and where there was a "pumping lounge" for the moms. This lounge was the only place I could really flee to without guilt while spending hours with my daughter. Eight times a day I was there pumping like a pro and getting in a quick break from the drama of the hospital. Because it was a lounge concept you would often pump with other moms; this may sound weird - and it was at first - but I ended up meeting two dear friends who supported me throughout my NICU stay and beyond.

During our time at Dartmouth the doctors weren't sure what was going on with Sweet Pea, so in between every bout of infection I would again attempt breastfeeding my daughter. This usually lasted for about five days until she would get sick again (which is such a long story that I'll save it for another time) at which point I would stop, the doctors would cut off her milk, and she would be given IV nutrition until the new infection cleared. By the time we had Sweet Pea transferred to Children's Hospital in Boston I already had a freezer full of stored milk. In the end, my daughter spent 38 days (out of a 90-day NICU stay) not eating anything but IV fluid.

Kangaroo Care the day after she was born

At Children's there were no lactation consultants running around each day to remind you to pump or to help you with breastfeeding. Because it's a sick-baby NICU, not really a preemie NICU it's just not their focus. Here they had two pump rooms that you could use alone (sadly this meant that I never really connected with other moms who had been a great source of support at Dartmouth). I would often time my meals with my pumping so that I wouldn't have to be gone from my daughter's bedside for long. Pretty immediately the doctors at Children's realized that we needed to measure every drop of milk that Sweet Pea received, which meant that I couldn't realistically breastfeed her. (I know, I know... we could have weighed her before and after every feeding but that wasn't something the nurses seemed willing to do.) I was very sad but continued to be hopeful that once we were discharged I could breastfeed her at home.

After 90 days in the NICU it turns out that Sweet Pea just plain forgot how to nurse. I worked and worked and worked on it the week before discharge but it was heartbreaking. At this point she was eating great from a bottle but when put to breast she would kick and scream and I would always end up crying. Once we were home I continued to try for another month or so but it just wasn't worth the stress in the end. (And trust me, I read every book and website on breastfeeding so I tried it all.) Additionally, we needed to fortify her milk to give her extra calories and I still needed to know how much milk she was getting down to the mL each day; feeding from a bottle definitely helps with that.

So here we are almost eight months (tomorrow!) from when my daughter was born and I have weaned down to pumping just twice a day. I'm only getting enough milk for a couple of bottles but I still have about two months worth of milk in the freezer. Although there is nothing fun about pumping, it for so long was the only thing that I could do to help my daughter in a pretty awful situation. Now that I am near the end I am experiencing bittersweet emotions as I'm sure all moms feel when they stop breastfeeding. When I return the pump I will probably shed some tears but am hopeful that after a few days I will instead enjoy the extra time I can spend with my daughter without a machine attached to my chest.

What to Pack for the Hospital

 Packing for the hospital is one of those things that is both exciting and intimidating for the first-time mother. I searched the internet for every "suggested list" I could find and then created my own tailored to my needs. I started the list at the end of May even though I wasn't due until the end of September. Unfortunately I went into labor at 28 weeks (July) and did not have my bags packed! However, I did have my list and was able to at least tell my husband where it was on the computer so that he could come home and gather my things.

Although my husband did a wonderful job, he didn't get it completely right the first time. Luckily, Baby Girl stayed put for another month while I kept her baking on bed rest. During that time I had the chance to modify my list and watch as my husband packed my bags. When my water broke at 32 weeks I was more or less ready for the hospital (but definitely not prepared for what the next few months would bring... more on that another time).

Every hospital varies so you should really take a tour of the hospital where you plan to deliver (I'd highly recommend taking your childbirth class there as well as it's a great way to meet some of the staff before delivery). I ended up needing to deliver at a hospital two hours away so I didn't know much about what the hospital provided vs. what I needed to bring. (Since I did spend a week on bed rest there I was at least acquainted with important things like the cafeteria menu and the pros and cons of the various beds available!)

Here is my list of essential items broken down in three categories: what I needed, what the husband needed, and what baby needed. In my case I sadly did not get to bring baby home after two days so we traded some of the originally packed items for other things that she needed in the NICU (that, too, will be another post).

For Mama

• Paperwork: drivers license, insurance card, birth plan (multiple copies), baby folder*, thank you cards, stamps, pens
• Headband and hair ties: I forgot these the first time but a girlfriend bought me some when she came to visit. These are very important when you can't take a shower and feel gross.
• Socks and slippers: my hospital gave me socks with rubber on the bottom so I wore these while in labor, but I definitely wanted my own socks and slippers after delivery, especially since our daughter was in the NICU down the hall.
• Old underwear: I was under the impression that these would be for me to wear while in labor (not while actually pushing but leading up to that), boy I was so wrong! If your water has already broken I would advise you to take advantage of the disposable undies from the hospital. They are one-size-fits-all stretchy pieces of fabric (more like mesh?) that you can wear with a giant pad to pretend you have some amount of modesty. After delivery you'll want a stash of disposables to change into until that first shower, after which you can don your own undies.
• Nursing bra, breast pads, nipple cream: even if you don't have big boobs you'll want a nursing bra to hold the pads so that you don't leak all over yourself. Buy bras without underwire well into your third trimester; you'll be amazed at how much bigger you'll get right after baby is born. Many people use Lansinoh lanolin to prevent nipple issues but my hospital recommended Motherlove. I'm on my 4th container of it now!
• Change of clothes and comfy shoes to wear home: I didn't go home, but I did enjoy wearing three different maternity dresses in rotation for weeks after baby was born and until my husband could get home and pick up some more clothes. You'll be smaller after delivery but not by much and wearing a maternity dress of stretchy fabric (along with some flip-flops!) is ultra comfortable.
• Toiletries: every woman is different as far as what they need to feel good about themselves. I needed my own shampoo and conditioner (the hospital stuff is crap), toothpaste, toothbrush, body lotion, face lotions for night and day, make-up (I just put on some lip gloss and mascara), and my blow dryer (although the hospital did provide a junky one).
• Chapstick: separate from your other toiletries because you will want this next to you at all times.
• Maxi Pads: although I used the ones from the hospital (along with the disposable undies) for the first few days, I was able to wean down from those jumbo things quickly. It was nice to have my own already packed.
• Mints, gum, snacks: You wont necessarily be able to get up to brush your teeth whenever you want so these are great to keep with the chapstick next to the bed. The snacks are great for after delivering, although my hospital had other food available too. Some hospitals have terrible food so if yours falls in that category you might be better off bringing your own.
• Relaxation materials: I was on my laptop a lot and tried reading a book on newborns, but found magazines to be a much better distraction. Some people listen to music during this time but I found it to be annoying.
• Your own pretty pillow(s): hospital pillows are not known for being all that comfortable or pretty, and let's face it, you'll want a pretty backdrop for all those pictures your husband should be taking! After I delivered though, the doctor told me that she has always had bad luck with patients who bring their own pillows! So while I certainly enjoyed it I'm not sure it'll come along next time.
• Cell phone w/charger and important #s programmed: I kept a list of important numbers (pediatrician, insurance, work, etc.) in my "Baby Folder" instead of putting them all in my cell phone.

For the husband

• Camera with batteries and charger
• Watch with second hand for timing contractions: we didn't end up needing this but if you have a long labor you might want it
• Toiletries
• Change of clothes
• Snacks
• Relaxation materials: a book, magazine, music, laptop
• Cash: dollar bills are especially useful for vending machines
• Cell phone w/ charger and list of important numbers
• Gifts/cards for Mama and Baby: I don't think you need to go crazy here but Mama should be properly thanked for pushing that baby! Even something small like chocolate or her favorite treat will be appreciated after all that work.
• Pillows or sleeping bag: the hospital pull-out bed or chair is going to suck. You can attempt to make it better with your own pillow or sleeping bag.

For the baby

• Packed diaper bag (see other post)
• Newborn diapers: the hospital should send you home with some disposables but just in case bring a few of your own. If you are using cloth diapers bring those with you. Many hospitals will let you use them immediately after birth; you just need to make sure you have enough with you!
• Receiving blanket or two: especially if it's cold outside.
• Going-home outfits: bring these in a couple of sizes (Newborn and 0-3 just to be safe!). Also, consider skipping the ridiculous "outfit" and bring home baby in something comfortable like PJs.
• Baby socks and hat: babies can't maintain their own body heat until 6-months-old which is why they come home in hats. 
• Car seat: this should already be installed and ready to go. The hospital staff should help you adjust it if necessary.
• Swaddle: These are great for newborns. We used the Halo Sleepsack and Swaddle in the NICU and once we got home.
• Baby book: this is great to have so that you can get your first hand/foot prints and so that you can write things down while it's fresh in your mind. You won't have much time once you get home!

Completely unnecessary items:

• Old Pajamas: this showed up on list after list of "required" items but in the end I was most comfortable wearing the Johnny provided by the hospital. The best part - there were plenty so as one got dirty a new one would be brought in for me! 
• Bathrobe: this just takes up way too much space and it's another item that the hospital will have for you. it won't be pretty, but it will cover up your bare ass.
• Your own towel: I read over and over again that your first shower after delivery will be the best of your life and you should not ruin it with a crappy towel. This is crap. It will be the best shower regardless of the towel you use to dry off! Plus, if you bring your own you risk losing it and you have to pack up a wet towel to bring home. No thank you. 
• Any jewelry: you will take it off anyway once you get there.
• Medications: this one surprised me as I thought I would need my own vitamins at least, but the hospital will provide you with every medication you need during your stay.
• Massage oils/lotions: you will not want anyone touching you with anything oily or smelly. You may not want anyone even near you at all!
• Baby mittens: while you don't want baby to scratch her face, you do want her to be able to find her mouth and suck on her thumb or fingers if she needs to soothe herself (most babes do this in the womb). If you put those mittens on your baby then they can't sooth themselves!

For your viewing pleasure you can download my list here, and then alter it to fit your needs.

Did I miss anything super important? What did you absolutely need for delivering your baby?

Why Mama's Recess?

There are thousands of blogs out there and almost all of the ones I come across are "Mommy Blogs," so why am I starting yet another one? Well, because I feel like it. And also because I need it. I've been blogging for my family and friends since I left the south and fled north across the Mason-Dixon Line several years ago, but I find that I can't say everything I want for fear of offending grandparents or boring everyone else who just wants to hear about the baby.  Plus, I live in the middle of nowhere and am currently a stay-at-home Mom to my little Muffin. I LOVE that I have the opportunity to be at home with her; I am doing what I always dreamed of doing. However, I have a lot going on in my head during the day and absolutely no outlet. I talk to the Muffin but she just smiles and nods her head...

I am a teacher by training and maybe that is part of my problem. I am home everyday without pupils to teach! You, Reader, are my new student. I hope you enjoy the show...